1. A wasted walk is like a crumbly dessert.
2. Orange is not a fruit or colour, but instead a rare shoe size.
3. I have clammy hands: like chowder in the rain.
4. No pain, no flames!
5. Sniff my toenails and you shall fail.
6. I don’t like being treated like a piece of shoe.
7. I can smell your ears over there.
8. There is no truth in eating parsnips – only destiny.
9. “Check out my dainty weasel!” Said no one ever.
10. Your long flowing hair bristles in my colon.
11. I was seven years old when I realized tapestries were made from old coin collections.
12. I often moan with passion in the moonlight, my regret in deep within my quiche.
13. Leave rice crispies in a bowl overnight and you WILL have a mushroom pie by August.