(To be sung to the tune of ‘Catch a Falling Star’) Catch a falling star, then Put it up your arse holeClench until the pain subsides. Walk up to a stranger,Warn him of the dangerWrithe upon the floorThen die! Advertisements
Part 4 Jefferson entered the warm coat cupboard across the hall where Abe was already waiting. He locked eyes and was immediately lost. With a slight of touch, he caressed the smooth silky texture of his top hat. His hands ran down his face, fingers entangled in his mess of beard. Abe lifted his top […]
Tiny crocheted chair Such a solitary figure amidst Those demonic playmates Who tickle the air dry of all rationale All sensible demeanor It is futile, of course, to remain indifferent towards you A single step could destroy your very reason for being That which I do not comprehend myself But in my own way, […]
‘to swafflebliss’ : – When you wear some really liberating sandals fresh out the box with the specific purpose of stepping into a well chosen, muddy puddle on a country lane, and then retreating backwards, proud, as if nothing had happened ‘to snufflecleanse’ : – The act of cleaning your muddied feet in your house […]
Ridged, yet fragile I seek a way into the caverns Your doorway, if you will As a snake, a lost wanderer That casts its beady eye on all things potent All things of spherical demise Blood shed isn’t enough for me – I want to disguise myself amoung your crimson Preceded by […]
1) – How many Triffids does it take to change a light bulb? – None, they use oil lamps. 2) – Why did the Triffid cross the road? – To sting your grandmother in the eyes and eat her. 3) – How many Triffids can you fit in a post van? – None, they send […]
I’ll let you wrap your legs around me next time we “meat” an old person.
Derek went to China He couldn’t do anything finer He quaffed some breast milk And was racked with guilt Because he assaulted a minor.
There once was a chief called Matt Who couldn’t control his cat, he tickled a shrub and started a jenga club and now he wears a straw hat! (thank GOD!)
Gentle, loving crepe stirs only in the moonlight, never to walk again