Derek went to China He couldn’t do anything finer He quaffed some breast milk And was racked with guilt Because he assaulted a minor.
There once was a chief called Matt Who couldn’t control his cat, he tickled a shrub and started a jenga club and now he wears a straw hat! (thank GOD!)
Gentle, loving crepe stirs only in the moonlight, never to walk again
“Huzzah!” You say, While traveling on the wind, “To the coast!” You say, as your head is suddenly twinned Left on your own, you tickle the creations of your mind. If you think about it only the weak are resigned. Pleasure is magnificent, like an ocelot with a grin. Just what does it take to […]
Through darkened days This winter haze Makes ones soul feel tired and gruesome But soon spring grows, Defrosts my nose And my rickets start to loosen.
With a smear of hunger flavoured lipstick I spanked the nasty milkman in the hopes of preventing a third world war. My balls lay drenched in the remains of his broken spatula, emanating a sudden chilly grinding noise that reminded me of the small Chinese man I had met the day before. I used the […]
If you live near the woods There is a chance you’ll know A bizarre creature dwells there Known as the “Butler Crow”. He’ll lurk near hippy campers And follow them around Decorate trees with tea cups, And leave cup cakes on the ground. He’ll spend days tracking hikers And turning down their beds Startling them […]
1) Elephants were once native to Britain, but most were killed during the Great Fire of London in 1666 (How unfortunate that all the elephants in Britain were congregated in London on that fateful night?!) 2) The First Rhinoceros to ever exist developed an unnatural disliking towards the Ostrich. The Rhino then decided to grow a horn […]
1. A wasted walk is like a crumbly dessert. 2. Orange is not a fruit or colour, but instead a rare shoe size. 3. I have clammy hands: like chowder in the rain. 4. No pain, no flames! 5. Sniff my toenails and you shall fail. 6. I don’t like being treated like a piece […]
Well, I had acquired the marshmallows through an underground syndicate of Evil desserts The soft, luscious exterior ignited within me A particular anger, so to speak, That I treasured with devious pleasure. My adversaries knew not of my quest, obviously But only of my desire for a mere afternoon snack Like most common folk I […]